Support through a major life transition.
Divorce, separation, and the endings that reshape a family. Coaching for you as an individual. Mediation for two people who need to reach agreement. Both under one roof, in Cape Town and online.
Nikki Duchenne
Mediator, coach & psychology graduate
My path to becoming a Divorce Coach and Mediator was shaped by both a personal experience and a deep desire to help others. After my third child was born, I felt a calling to pursue a career that would allow me to make a meaningful difference in people's lives.
This led me to obtain a Bachelor's degree in Social Sciences, psychology, providing a strong foundation in understanding human behaviour and relationships. However, it was my own experience navigating divorce after 20 years of marriage that truly ignited my passion for this field.
Faced with a lack of information and support, I took the initiative to empower myself by studying ADR (alternative dispute resolution) through Mediation Academy, gaining expertise in family law and mediation. I became a SAAM accredited mediator, equipped to facilitate constructive dialogue and help couples reach mutually agreeable solutions.
Driven by a desire to provide more comprehensive support, I furthered my training through CDC to become a Certified Divorce Coach. This certification allows me to provide personalised guidance, support, and strategies to help individual clients navigate the emotional, practical, and legal aspects of divorce.
I can proudly say that I am the first Certified Divorce Coach in South Africa, and together with my mediation training, I offer a unique service of understanding and assisting individuals and couples through this chapter.
How I help
Some of this work is one-on-one. Some of it happens with both of you in the room. You don't need to work out which before you get in touch — that's what the first phone call is for.
Thinking of divorce. Now what?
One-on-one · or togetherIt's the number one enquiry I get, and it may be the most important session I hold — because it happens before anything becomes irreversible.
You don't have to be in the middle of a divorce to have this conversation. You don't have to have decided, or said the word out loud. Some people come on their own; some come together, still working out whether there's a marriage to save. Both are the right way to arrive.
What changes things isn't the decision. It's having accurate information before you make one — which is why this is an empowering conversation rather than a frightening one.
Coaching through a life transition
One-on-one · confidentialDivorce is the ending I know best. It isn't the only one that does this to a person.
The same work applies when a long relationship ends without a marriage certificate, when a role you'd built your identity around disappears, when the last child leaves home, when you're rebuilding after a death, or when you've relocated and every routine that held you steady has gone with it.
The mechanics are consistent: grief that arrives out of order, an identity shaped around something that no longer exists, and practical decisions that won't wait until you feel ready. Coaching here is about sequencing those, and building something that belongs to you on the other side.
The process of divorce and children
Both parents · child-centredChildren don't experience the divorce. They experience the arrangements — where they sleep on a Tuesday, who fetches them from cricket, whose house holds the school shoes. Whatever the two of you settle between yourselves, what they live is the schedule.
Parenting plans
Care and contact, holidays and special days, schooling, medical decisions, travel consent, and how the two of you communicate. Drafted in line with the Children's Act 38 of 2005, ready to be registered with the Office of the Family Advocate or made an order of court.
Post-separation parenting mediation
The plan is in place and the reality has moved on — new schools, new partners, a teenager whose life no longer fits the schedule. Rather than going back to court every time something changes, we work it through and revise it. Most families need this every few years.
Where sitting in the same room isn't workable, we can do this in separate sessions instead. That's a normal adjustment, not a failure.
Mediation
Both parties · structured & facilitatedTrying to talk to someone you're in conflict with can feel impossible. Emotions are high, you're each living your own version of it, and misunderstanding fills whatever space is left. That's true whether it's the person you're separating from, an adult child you've stopped being able to reach, a sibling, a blended family finding its footing, or a decision about an ageing parent that nobody can agree on.
A calm, structured third party changes what's possible in that room. I facilitate the conversation so it stays on the questions that actually need answering, make sure each person can speak openly and be properly heard, and keep it moving when it stalls. The goal isn't forced reconciliation — sometimes it's repair, sometimes it's a decision made together, and sometimes it's simply a workable way to co-exist.
I've worked with couples who arrived unable to agree on the smallest thing and left with something workable. It's faster than litigation, it costs considerably less, it stays private, and the decisions remain yours rather than a court's.
In their words
“Before I worked with Nikki, every week felt like chaos.”
My ex and I couldn't agree on anything, and our kids were caught in the middle. Nikki helped us create a parenting plan and contact schedule that finally brought order and predictability. Our kids now know exactly where they'll be and when, and that stability has made such a difference.
“Nikki brought us to the realisation that it's not about us, but our children.”
She helped us deal with the difficult questions around our little boy when emotions were high and we felt we couldn't come to a compromise on our own. After only a few sessions, we felt we could move forward together — knowing she was there to circle back to if needed.
“I reached out to Nikki when I finally hit rock bottom.”
Divorce has been the loneliest, scariest, saddest life transition I've ever experienced. Looking back, I wish I had reached out sooner. Thank you, Nikki, for helping me through this chapter of my life. You'll always be a part of my story.
A phone call
You don't need to arrive knowing which of these you need. Give me a ring and tell me what's going on. I'll ask a few questions, get a proper sense of your situation, and explain what would actually help.
From there, most people begin with a consultation — one session, long enough to properly get somewhere. If what you need is an attorney, a therapist or a financial specialist, I'll tell you that and point you to colleagues I trust.
Where I fit alongside the professionals
My work covers communication, clarity and agreement-building, including parenting plans. It doesn't cover legal advice, financial settlement or the division of assets.
Coaching sits alongside legal and psychological care rather than replacing it. When your matter needs an attorney, a therapist or a financial specialist, I'll say so and refer you to colleagues I trust.
Notes from the work
Practical, unsentimental writing on separation, co-parenting, and the parts of a transition nobody warns you about.
Start with a conversation
Tell me where you are and we'll work out the rest together. Nothing is decided on the first call.
- Phone & WhatsApp+27 73 877 0802
- Emailnikki@reclaimcoaching.co.za
- HoursMon–Fri 8:00–16:00 · Sat 8:00–12:00
- SessionsIn person in the Cape Town area, or online anywhere in South Africa